Slightly Inane Reasons Why The Knicks Will Win 35-45 Games This Year (Or at least why they’ll be damned entertaining at sucking this time around)

A guest post by Drew Ludeke

1.The Complete Absence of Isiah Thomas – This alone made every Knicks fan’s life so much less nerve-wracking and embarrassing. Instead of hanging our heads in collective shame or drunkenly reveling in what a joke he had turned our team into, you know the kind of joke where you have to laugh in lieu of crying. Isiah was the living epitome of Hanlon’s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. I’d go into this more and how Isiah ruined the Knicks but why bother, he’s gone now and I pray for good. Good riddance!

2. The Mere Presence of Mike D’Antoni & Donnie Walsh – Donnie Walsh deserves all the credit for both bringing D’Antoni to New York and (cross your fingers) ending Dolan’s reign of megalomaniacal meandering into management of the team. But seeing as we’re talking about actually winning games and Donnie’s still mostly handicapped by the payroll and team Isiah built, we’ll just stick to the ‘Stache for now (new nickname I’m trying out, let me know if it works). The Knicks suck on paper and probably will on a court for a couple of games but D’Antoni doesn’t care about any of that. What he brings to the table in pure unadulterated gumption alone will change the philosophy of a team that only seemed to win by accident or in spite of themselves last season. What I’ve already seen from this team in pre-season alone was enough to put me, my father and Knicks announcer John Andriase in shock. On a recent play against the Sixers, Zach Randolph (yup, that guy) grabbed a rebound, passed it, ran the floor, got a pass and then, wait for it, passed it to the open man! That was the play I thought I was imagining in my head till Andriase broke the silence by asking, stunned, if Randolph had just run the floor. They didn’t score on the play but that doesn’t matter.. That sort of play exemplifies the play and mentality that D’Antoni brings out of his team.

3. Shooters! – Over the years, the Knicks have stockpiled players who love nothing more than to hoist up ridiculous jumpers with 20 seconds on the shot clock or after dribbling for 20 seconds without even considering a pass (read, Jamal Crawford). None of them were pure shooters, mind you, but it didn’t stop them from throwing up enough bricks to build a Salvation Army. They’re improving on the passing situation as already mentioned but all these players will thrive in a system that encourages more sensible shooting. That’s right Jamal, shoot more!... Unless of course there’s three open guys nearby. So now Jamal, Nate, Steph, Wilson, Quentin, Danilo, (he’s in America, I’m gonna start calling him Danny) and even you Allan Houston, feel free to fire away. I’d like to welcome Allan back, hope he gets to play and also hand him back his award for The Sweetest Jumper in the NBA.

4. David Lee, Nate Robinson and Wilson Chandler – These are the three gems from the Isiah Era. That’s not to say either will amaze and astound but each of them is a dependable, hard-working role player that provides something this Knicks team needs. Most notably is Lee who, if pre-season indicates, will get the start over Curry. It shortens the Knicks’ starting frontcourt but that won’t make much of a difference when Lee is cleaning glass, spreading the floor for Randolph to post up and picking up a plethora of garbage putbacks. Not to mention Lee has spent the summer developing a decent long-range jumper to add to his skills. It’s ran hot and cold so far this pre-season but so long as he keeps working at it, it should pay off for his minutes and the team. Lee has been the Knicks’ off-the-bench spark these past seasons but with him getting the start, don’t expect Nate to let the torch burn out. Nate’s kind of like a poor man’s Eddie House. He hustles every play but he sucks on D, he commits idiotic turnover but then he blocks Yao Ming or hits the game-winning three. With a point-guard controversy more than simmering of late, expect him to be the backbone of the backcourt should Duhon falter, Stephon go crazy or both. Wilson Chandler is a guy who should’ve played 30 minutes a game around mid-season when the Knicks had already conceded to mediocrity. That way, he’d have a little bit more experience under his belt now that he’s looking at real time. He still showed some talent during the end of last season, can hit the long ball, drives well and averaged more blocks than the Curry vs. Randolph combined. Keep your eye on him. Anyway, speaking of point guard controversies….

5. Chris Duhon v. Stephon Marbury v. Everybody – Never before has a native son so worn out his welcome, never before has a flunky third-stringer from Duke been hailed as a savior by a fanbase that’s well aware of the smell of the bullshit. It will determine the course of their season and not look pretty on court but this brewing tiff will be the most entertaining subplot of the Knicks season. It could go in numerous directions depending on whether James Dolan wants to eat 20 mill to get rid of a cancer, or if Duhon becomes a spectacular/reliable/makeshift PG until Steph is tired of sitting on the bench and caves in for a trade or a cheaper buyout. One thing is, D’Antoni is a politician, not a panderer, so while he says he wants to work with Steph, he will not hesitate to bench him for the likes of Anthony Roberson if he feels the team is being led astray by Steph. It has the potential to be a non-factor if the Knicks start winning and the media forgets about it or it could blow sky high depending on what Steph does.

6. Herb & The Gang – Assistant coaches don’t get much love unless their defense helped Doc Rivers get a ring (you should’ve gotten that Gatorade bath Tom!) but they’re as vital to a team as any other cog. If you don’t believe me, pick up “7 Seconds or Less” for some great insight into NBA coaching. Sure, Nash and Mike are the main feature of the book but arguments between Phil Weber, Dan D’Antoni (Go Marshall!) and the rest of the Suns staff are what make the book even more compelling. That being said, I’m glad they’re with the team. As for Herb Williams, the man’s a Garden staple. He used to beat Charlie Ward in 3-point shooting contests and he’s survived the last five years from Chaney to Wilkens to Brown and even Isiah, still standing, hopefully with his dignity intact. I wasn’t chanting “We want Herb!” at Garden blowouts for no reason last year.

6. Jared Jeffries – He can’t shoot, he can’t dribble, he guards all five positions, none of them well. Yet for some reason I see him working well in this system and I think I should have my head checked. D’Antoni needs someone to play any kind of defense, run the court and merely pass the ball to everyone else waiting for a shot, right? I could be wrong, he could spend the entire season on the bench working on his sitcom pilot with Jerome James. It’s called The Double J’s. It’s about two retired, talent-less basketball players who get into all sorts of wacky adventures. Jerome drinks a lot and Jared’s simply inept. Cut me a check, NBC!

7. Joy Returns to the Garden – For all you out-of-towners, yeah, we know we suck. We haven’t won a championship in 30 years. Our better teams in the nineties were a bunch of thugs who slowed the game down to the point of death and we’re now barely pulling ourselves out of the heap of garbage our brain-dead owner almost seemed to enjoy being in. But don’t you dare shit on the Garden. It’s one of the greatest arenas in the world for a reason and just a taste of it during our few sporadic bright days made you realize what an energizing place it could be. We’ve still got a long way to go but as the long the seats stay cheap, the real fans show up and the annoying European tourists stop taking pictures during the game, anything’s possible when the Garden comes alive…. Now the tough part is convincing a team to trade for Eddy Curry.