Around the L

NBA TV
I don't get it. I live in New York City. Are you serious? So I miss all the good games and 24 hours of LeBron? RCN is the worst.

LeBron
I don't get LeBron's commercials. The one where his boy's car gets broken into? Weird. Even the one where he throws the chalk in the air... as cool as it is, isn't that annoying to everyone in a 10-foot radius?

Hotlanta
On ESPN's NBA Fastbreak, Mash calls out Atlanta for being a tough place to play, not so much because of the crowd but because of the nightlife. Atlanta is all strip clubs. Wonder if any Celtics were out at the clubs last year when they were up 2-0?

The IZOD Center
The Nets are 6-12 at home and 10-6 on the road. I knew the IZOD center was bad but I didn't realize how much it could affect the team. Don't get me wrong, I go to a decent amount of Nets games and I have an absolute blast. That said, the Nets game experience leaves much to be desired. Driving into and out of the Meadowlands is absurdly complicated and public transportation to the arena amounts to one bus from NYC Port Authority. The arena experience wouldn't be half bad except for the occasionally awkward contest segment and the scoreboards at opposite ends of the arena.*** Finally, for whatever reason, the Nets fans obviously care more about beating the traffic than watching the Nets possibly come back. I've seen fans stream out of the arena with the Nets down 1 and the other team on the line. So I don't know exactly what it is but maybe all this combines into an atmosphere so demoralizing that it severely affects the team.


***These scoreboards display the numbers of the players in the game at the time as well as the number of fouls and points each player had. It roughly looks like this.

Player #	Fouls	Points	|	Fouls	Points	Player #
15	1	21	|	0	12	33
34	0	11	|	2	15	23

They could have done it symmetrically or they could have done it the same way across. Basically, they decided to go with the only way that doesn't make sense. I don't get it and it bothers me way too much.

Post-Christmas, Pre-New Year’s Thoughts on 2008

The Things I’m Thankful For:
Chris Paul- I’ve covered this enough already but here’s one more reason why he rules: he breaks obscure 30 year old records that will probably not be broken for another 30. Now if he could just give the rest of the Hornets a kick in the pants.

Doris Burke, Craig Sager & Co.- All sideline reporters are really annoying and offer nothing pertinent to the ongoing game and some coaches don’t even bother masking their disdain for your presence and idiotic questions. Play-by-play commentators are not as pointless but the majority of them fail horrifically at their stated job of in-game analysis. That being said, there’s a small class of people who either provide excellent color commentary that the average viewer enjoys or are just pure comic relief on the sideline. On the latter, Craig Sager is the lone example. He dresses like a schizophrenic hippie on a head full of acid, talks like Fred Willard in Best in Show and is openly mocked and respected all at once by every NBA player. When he covered the baseball playoffs this fall and was wearing an uninspiring TBS logo polo, he just didn’t have that pep. Sager’s just not the same if he’s not wearing a purple pin-stripe suit, with a pink tie and neon green shirt while being reamed by Kevin Garnett. As for the former, Doris Burke is also in a class of her own for being the only female talent in the NBA who actually knows what she’s talking about (I don’t care if it’s sexist, it’s also true). She’s not pretty or perky but she’s got a great basketball IQ and when she calls out the play being run before you even see it happen, do you really need Erin Andrews yapping about nothing? Burke’s a part of the small class of commentators that don’t defend the refs, admire a showboater’s hustle or comment on great timeouts, which includes Walt Frazier (sure he’s biased for the Knicks but the man’s a legend who knows what he’s talking about), Jeff Van Gundy & Marc Jackson (when they’re solo or not acting like they’re best friends), and Ian Eagle & Jim Spanarkel for the Nets isn’t too bad either but after that, you’re better off watching most games with the sound off, not half as inept as the NFL’s announcers though.

Conference Parity- That’s not to say the East has gotten as good as the West but that the West merely has about the same amount of mediocre teams on its side nowadays along with plenty of good ones as well. The Celtics & Cavs are taking on all comers, Orlando & Atlanta won’t contend for a title but could beat a title contender, Detroit’s still a conference leader, and a handful of others are at least moving in the right direction and entertaining. The West is still crowded at the top with more teams attempting to join the fray (Portland & Denver come to mind) but thanks to the efforts of the Kings, Grizz, Clippers, Wolves and Thunder, there’s still plenty of bottom-feeders around to drag the conference down from the elite pedestal most hyperbolic commentators are so apt to put them on.

An Outstanding Rookie Class- Sadly, Danillo Gallinari isn’t the reason this made this made the list, thankfully players like OJ Mayo, Derrick Rose, Michael Beasley, Rudy Fernandez, Marc Gasol, DJ Augustin, Sergio Rodriguez and Brook Lopez have stepped up in his absence. Those guys are the ones that are already making an impact and the list from there goes on with others who will be making an impact in the next couple of years. There’s even undrafted surprises like Anthony Morrow getting their points right now (along with other faves Love, Chalmers, Westbrook, Thompson & Anderson). And guys like Fernandez, Gasol and Rodriguez represent an improved trend in drafting European players that have actually proven themselves over guys just with the potential to be great (Danny G, I’m looking at you!). And I know what you’re thinking but Greg Oden doesn’t make this list because he shouldn’t be considered a rookie and his development time is killing the Blazers right now, it’s like they’re playing with four guys once the opposing coaches realize he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Airing of Grievances:
League Pass Broadband- Minor complaints here since the league pass service overall is pretty awesome, particularly being able to watch three games at once, but I actually enjoyed watching local TV markets’ commercials last year instead of the same NBA and Clone Wars ads repeatedly to the point where I know them word for word and could quite possibly even play the piano tune that accompanies the NBA “where fill in the blank happens” ads although I’ve never played the piano. Also, I can watch any Grizzlies or Kings games but practically no Hornets or Rockets games, what up with that? I get that there will be a few blackout games now and again but for the money I paid, you gotta hook it up a little better.

An Open Letter to Sportscenter- You guys have a monopoly on the market but you’re letting it get to your heads a little bit. If Sportscenter isn’t on, we’ve got ESPNnews, if there’s anything worth getting, you’re the people to usually get it from a large majority of the time. Yet instead of sticking with what got you there, you’re more concerned with analyzing what hasn’t happened yet, promoting your own games and inhibiting horrible athletes to act out and get their own glorification. On a night when there’s only three NBA games, an NFL game and some NHL action, all I want to see for a solid half-hour at least is comprehensive highlights of all of those games, not dissecting Greg Oden’s 2 points and 3 blocks over the rest of a great game, no analysis of the baseball free-agent market when there’s no signings to be had, no BCS controversy BS, and last but not least, no over-hyped NFL news! I understand the fun of sports is talking about what could happen in certain games, who’s great, who’s overrated, who’s getting screwed, possible trades and everything else but when it comes down to it, that’s primarily for the fans, not for the content-providers. I don’t need Bill Walton & John Clayton telling me their playoff contenders when there’s highlights of actual games that have actually been played for viewers to enjoy. It’s crap like that that eventually leads to the unneeded drama around T.O., Brett Favre & Plaxico Burress. It basically turns you into the MTV of sports, you’re not even covering what your stated goal is. In short, nothing wrong with a little extra analysis but people that like sports would prefer a little more highlight action.

PS – that show on ESPN2 where guys play Madden against one another, it’s pointless and idiotic, along with a lot of other random shows, please cancel those for just a show of recent game highlights from the past 48 hours. People at bars for happy hour will appreciate it and you’ll save money.

The Kid is Back

Yeah, that's right... I'm back in the game. I must confess that up until about a week ago my NBA viewing was relegated to the Knicks, Nets, and whichever teams were playing on TNT/ESPN. Pathetic... I know. But that all changed when I finally re-upped on League Pass and dove headfirst into the League. Without further ado, notes from around the league...

Saw Adam Morrison throw a nice assist against the Hawks so I've upgraded him from "The Worst Player Not Named Jason Collins" to "Might Be Able to Contribute on a Euro Team Someday". Speaking of the Bobcats, DJ Augustin has serious game which is good because Raymond Felton wasn't cutting it at the point for Charlotte. During the Hawks game he air-balled a floater short from about 8 feet which the announcer mercilessly described as a pass. And speaking of announcers....

I can't decide how I feel about the biased announcer. I can see the benefits to having a pro-home team announcer in the booth for the local TV station but it seems like very few guys can pull that off without coming off as either biased or stupid. Maybe I'm spoiled from years of Marv Albert being the consummate professional but why can't more guys be like him? He calls it like it is and he gets excited for nice plays... regardless of which team makes them. (Let this be a lesson to us all... sexual deviancy and professional competence often go hand-in-hand.) It just annoys me when announcers clearly favor one team over another to the detriment of my viewing experience. Swirsky, Mike&Mike up in Portland, Tommy Heinsohn... you can have them all. Call me overcritical but I'm just a fan of objectivity.

Crossover of the Day - Derrick Rose drops Andre Miller... straight nasty.

Blatant, Half-Cocked Rant: 12/2/08 - Knicks v. Blazers

by Drew Ludeke.

I’m early, my sister’s running late so while we’re missing the tip-off, I enjoy some time with the local scalpers. I don’t know if anyone’s done a comprehensive portrayal of ticket scalpers, preferably New York ones, but it’s worth exploring and certainly not as romanticized a life as the Andy Garcia film Just The Ticket. A New York ticket scalper wears many hats all at once. They are boisterous corner touts with the business acumen of a sharp-tongued used-car salesmen always looking for a deal or ready to drop it when the money’s not there. Their product is both elastic and inelastic all at once, depending on how quickly they can do their business before a competitor steals it from them. There’s also the complete opposite reaction, when a buyer/seller gets uneasy about dealing with the illegal middleman and is stubborn with his asking price. I ask the one nearest me how well he does on an average basis. He shrugs, saying most nights pretty well except lately no one wants to see the Knicks but the Rangers always pay well. As for the Knicks, I say wait a few years. A few moments later, he and his business associates abruptly educate a man who wants to sell two half-decent tickets for a C-note each by leaving him by his lonesome.

Regan makes it in, we make it up to the 4th level seats I know all too well. She has to pee, I need a beer. Meeting back at our seats later, I notice two girls to our right, one in a Nate jersey, the other in a Crawford one. I admire both’s commitment to the team but as for the latter, do you still get to wear that anymore? It’s Jamal Crawford, not Walt Frazier or Patrick Ewing. Either way, it doesn’t matter more than the game which the Knicks are surprisingly winning. Rudy Fernandez subs in for Steve Blake and a good portion of the crowd in my immediate area go crazy with chants of “Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!”, some frantically wave Spanish flags. Regan loves basketball but the Knicks have sucked far too long for her to keep an active interest in the NBA so I have to explain to her how Rudy’s a much bigger deal than Greg Oden, dunked on D-Ho at the Olympics and he’s damned entertaining to watch. Finally, I’m elated by the quality of Eurotrash frequenting MSG tonight. The past two years, with cheap seats and a cheap dollar, practically 2 out of 5 people at the Garden (I made that stat up) were dirty Eurotrash who had no interest in the game except for taking pictures of themselves and wearing non-Bulls Jordan jerseys. It was sickening. These people can root for a great opposing player at the Garden, at least they know their shit although it’s got to make Sergio Rodriguez cry a little inside. Regan would prefer the ignorant Eurotrash.

Regan’s a Terp and a Knicks fan and like me, has a strange sense of humor, so every time Maryland alum Steve Blake’s in the game, her comments range from “Go Terps!” (after he makes a three) to “Blake, you’re a hick and you suck, get out of the game.” First-Second quarter break: the Knicks City Dancers come out in bright orange jumpers to do some sort of sexy-ass dancing and jitterbugging. I’m shocked they’re doing a new dance for once. After a couple of games last year, I could’ve done a half-assed rendition of their dance to “Start Me Up” by the Stones. Sad, but true. You notice these things after a couple of blowouts in the Isiah Era. I tell the girl next to me she needs a new jersey, which leads to a conversation with Regan about Starbury’s demise. She feels bad his Knicks career is ending like this and wishes he wasn’t treated so badly. Like I said, she doesn’t follow the NBA that religiously. I go over Starbury’s career, mainly truck parties, while observing the Knicks maintain their lead through poor Blazers shooting and Tim Thomas 3s.

Observation: Oden’s been getting his minutes and touches at the cost of the rest of his team but Nate McMillan is doing it wisely. Like everyone else, I want Oden to be good and he probably will be, not greatest big man of all time good but he isn’t going to be a bust on the level of Michael Olowakandi either. Thing is, right now, half the time the Blazers are playing man plus 1 with him out there: Oden guards the paint, don’t expect him to mind a man. Offensively, he also hangs around the paint but there’s always enough shooters on the floor with him to give him room to play on the post. He’s only getting 25 minutes max, you’ll never see him and Pryzbilla on the same floor and thankfully, Aldridge is versatile enough to play around him. It all depends on how the team adjusts as his minutes increase.

Knicks are up at the half. Halftime analysis is never that entertaining, why don’t we ever get to see what the crowd gets to see? Dancing seniors, contortionists, tram-mapolining dunkers, this is what America wants in a halftime show, fuck Barkley! But then there’s the off nights when three teenage girls competing for a spot on Kidz Bopz (I don’t even know what that is) butcher some pop songs. First girl sings an off-key, off-cue rendition of Avril Lavigne’s “Skater Boy”. You think it’ll be short and easy verse but she actually sings the entire thing! Next song to be performed is “Love Song”, accompanied by piano. I didn’t know who actually sang that and I quickly forget but points for a quality performance. I tell the Crawford jersey girl next to me she should get a replacement David Lee jersey, to which she replies she’s not that big of a David Lee fan. I come out of my blackout to hear a rousing rendition of the third contestant’s song: Marvin Gaye’s “Ain’t No Mountain Enough”. Brutalized in feel-good movies but always a crowd pleaser, she knocks it out of the park, clearly winning as I struggle to comprehend how anyone could ever not be a David Lee fan. Do you not like Charles Oakley’s brutality or Anthony Mason’s skyline haircut either? Kids today!? But I digress.

Long story short: The Knicks were easily handling a dismal opponent until the Blazers began to turn it around late in the third and early in the fourth. The Knicks hung around with some threes here and there but they died out in the end.

Other thoughts: Win or loss, courtside or nosebleed, every seat in the Garden gives you a great view of the action (I’ve never sat close to courtside so I’m merely assuming, they might suck). Speaking of jerseys to buy, the rest of this Knicks team other than Lee, Robinson and Chandler is gone in two years or so so don’t go wasting any money on your Cuttino Mobley jersey anytime soon just to give me an aneurysm at my next game. You want a real diehard pick? Chris Duhon: It’s a no. 1 so that’s clearly classy and given how the former Bulls third-stringer is performing so far this year, it shows you’re a real fan if he’s still with the team after 2010 (still up in the air but it could happen).

Regan and I headed out and despite the loss, she wants to go see more games this season. I’m always down but even more so, I want to enjoy this half-decent, entertaining team as much as I can. No matter who we get in two years, ticket prices for some mid-court nosebleed seats will go up rather quickly. Sometimes, it’s better to afford the price of enjoying your team sucking rather than getting fleeced for watching it triumph. Maybe I’m just a cheap, sadistic bastard.
And also, if you’ve had more than four beers and are taking a bus ride home, don’t go to the 24 hr. White Castle on 38th and 8th. It’s like paying for porn, you enjoy it at first but you spend the rest of the night regretting it.